ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
