is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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