but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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