he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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