dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Randomize
