don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
how drunk are you?
Several
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
