I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
