We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
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