i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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