Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
