Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize