my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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