She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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