What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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