i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
