Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
