This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
