DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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