I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
