The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
