Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
