fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
too bad you live with your parents still
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
