oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
