I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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