I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
