Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I wish my penis had an off switch
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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