I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
