he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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