I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
