I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
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