We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
