I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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