lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
