Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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