Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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