brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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