We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You may now shotgun with the bride
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
