i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
And then my night got REAL pukey
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
