i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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