we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
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Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
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He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..