so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
cat food counts as protein by the way
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own