Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies