My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads