she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
