So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize