He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
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I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
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We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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