Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize