Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
