No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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