He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.