she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
