your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
