Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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