my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
