He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
