butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
