Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
