so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
